What I have loved about this project is that in each interview we do, no matter how similar the story may appear on surface level, there are always remarkably interesting and unique insights that the sib is able to articulate about their story.
Through our blog, we were contacted by Natalie, an 18 year old, recent high school grad living near Princeton. From her emails, Natalie seemed like a bubbly, kind girl and I was pumped to meet up with her at my favorite tea shop, infiniT.
Natalie has a brother with autism. She has definitely struggled to come to terms with her family dynamic, often preferring to be out of the house except for “showering and sleep, that’s it”. She told us how despite her physical distance from her brother, he was constantly on her mind as she struggled with feelings of guilt about the opportunities and experiences that she was getting to have that would likely never be a reality for her brother.
Part of this distance also involved Natalie avoiding talking about her brother as much as possible. When we asked her if her friends knew her brother growing up, she responding with the following:
In the next clip, Natalie told us about how her role as a sib has impacted her socially. She touches on the guilt aspect but also the struggle to find people that understood what she was going through. Her clip reminded me of how grateful I am to have met sibs when I was in high school — that instant comprehension is unbeatable.
For me, the most raw part of her interview was when we asked her what role she plays in her family. Watch her answer:
When our conversation turned to the topic of her connection to any other sibs, Natalie drew a blank. She lamented that she always seems to find out that she knew a sib after the fact. We’ve seen this in other sibs too, despite this potentially goldmine of common ground between sibs, sibs are rarely in contact with others like them. Perhaps this arises from the stigma around mentioning that their sibling has a disability or simply an uncertainty about what could come out of this unique sort of bond.
Natalie’s interview did a beautiful job of illuminating for us how the sibling relationship feels when you’re still in high school and sifting through all sorts of other emotional and social changes. I wish her the absolute best in her future and hope that she found her interview experience as meaningful as we did!