During one day in Portland, we had the pleasure of interviewing three different women about their experiences with a brother with autism. Let’s introduce you to our cast of characters:
Zicra — has a 43 year old brother, low functioning autism, nonverbal
Liana – has a twin brother (they’re both 11) with high functioning autism
Elisabeth – has an older brother in his 30s with mild to moderate autism
Essentially, we had the opportunity to interview 3 women, at different stages in their lives, as they navigated the experience of having a sibling on the spectrum.
Our morning started with Zicra who brought us to one of her favorite tea shops in Portland. Her interview was full of energy and warmth and she couldn’t help but smile every time she spoke of her brother Joseph Jonah, or Jojo for short. Listen here for her description of Jojo, their relationship, and her parents’ openness with her about Jojo’s situation.
Zicra has many fond memories of her childhood with Jojo but she told us one great story in particular.
What became clear early on in her interview, was just how tight knit Zicra’s family was. She eventually brought this up herself, noting the ease with which her family used an us against the world mentality.
Because they were always so close growing up, Jojo struggled to come to terms with the new people in Zicra’s circle including her husband and her children.
However, despite the recent adjustments, Zicra felt so positively towards her brother and his impact on her life. Perhaps most significantly, her experiences with Jojo allowed her to embrace early that it’s okay to be different, an idea that many others struggle to graspe their whole lives.
After Zicra’s interview, we headed across Portland to interview Liana. Liana also told us about the strong bond that she has with her brother. Since they are twins, they spend the majority of their time together, not apart. After the interview, Ellie remarked to me that I was probably very much like Liana when I was her age. And man was that an awesome compliment! Liana was so great — a self-described book worm, extremely eloquent in her description of her brother’s challenges, protective of her brother while still maintaining a sibling-style relationship with him, the list goes on and on. What seemed to make the difference for Liana was her chance to go to summer camp every year with her twin. The camp that he attended for kids with special needs had a sibling chapter that Liana loved to be a part of. Through that, she was able to meet and bond with other sibs. During the year, she keeps up with her sib friends and often shares funny stories of her brother as well as any challenges that may arise concerning her family with them. I can’t wait to see where this kind, well-spoken, and funny woman goes later in life! Keep us posted Liana!
Finally, we met with Elisabeth at a coffee shop near our host’s house. Elisabeth is an occupational therapist who also had many fond feelings towards her brother. She told us that he was “all around just a really great guy” and lovingly described his lifetime interest in sports and cooking.
She attributes her closeness with her brother to the fact that they were the two “big kids” in the house (they have two younger sisters) and that they tend to both be very laid back people.
I loved watching her smile as she talked about her brother’s experience in high school. Watch the clip for a rare description of a person with autism’s positive experience with public school.
Like most sibs, Elisabeth finds certain aspects of having a sibling with autism to be challenging. The clip below has her very thoughtful description of the specific challenges that she feels surrounding her brother.
Elisabeth has a best friend who is a sib. Below, she told us why she finds that specific friendship to be so valuable.
The current goal for Elisabeth’s brother is to get a job so that he can begin to move towards independence. However, in this economy, that task has become even more arduous.
On the same note, Elisabeth thinks that what’s really necessary is a shift in how society views people with developmental disabilities.
One of the reasons we decided to group these three interviews together was the common thread of siblings having a positive relationship with their sibling with autism. In many of our other autism interviews, we have found that the sibling in general has struggled very very much to create and maintain a sibling bond with their brother or sister. As a result, we knew it was necessary to profile these women in order to diversify the narrative about what it’s like to have a sibling with autism. We are so grateful that we had the opportunity to meet and speak with these three Portlandian women and we wish them all the best for their future!